Chris Gallegos, U.S. Sen. Pete Domenici's longtime (20 years-plus!) press guy just sent what's probably his last press release announcing his office is "going dark."
He attached a spoof press release that was sent to the Domenici staff four years ago.
From: Letourneau, Matthew (DOMENICI)
Sent: Friday, April 23, 2004 3:28 PM
Subject: NEWS: Domenici Press Office Goes Dark
NOT FOR PUBLICATION OR BROADCAST CONTACT: MATT LETOURNEAU
APRIL 23, 2004 (202) 224-7098
DOMENICI PRESS OFFICE GOES DARK
Press Staff Issues No Press Releases
WASHINGTON – For the first time in memory, the Press Office of U.S. Senator Pete Domenici did not issue a single press release today.
The successful experiment was considered by many to be impossible.
Chief of Staff Steve Bell had ordered the press office to cease and desist sending out releases in order to see what the impact on the Earth’s equilibrium would be.
Thus far, aside for emotional and physical problems affecting Press Secretary Chris Gallegos, no major changes in the Earth’s atmosphere have been reported.
However, Gallegos, a fifteen year veteran of Domenici’s staff, is showing signs of trauma. Today alone, he lost a substantial amount of blood, and was seen staring at pictures of Domenici as a child, as well as exhibiting signs of belligerent behavior, such as yelling “It ain’t a desert, its paradise!” at the television when a CNN report featuring FLETC-Artesia referred to the area as a desert.
“We’re worried about Chris,” said Deputy Press Secretary Matt Letourneau. “This is new for him. Instead of eating, Chris writes press releases. We’re just not sure where he will be getting his nourishment today.”
It is not known whether the Press Office will resume its policy of blanketing New Mexico with press releases Monday.